First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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