is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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