Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
