Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she looked like the before picture.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
