At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
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