Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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