and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
