Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
