there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
