Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I see more hoeing in ur future
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