i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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