I'm going to jail i love you
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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