We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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