dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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