Too much gin, very little bucket
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize