he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize