you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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