yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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