Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
where are my eyebrows?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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