I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize