just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
