Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
