He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
