Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You took a bar mat shot.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
