where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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