We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
