flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
