I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
