So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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