a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
