so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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