You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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