i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
