I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
