how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize