sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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