handjob tips. give me some.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
