I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
