you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
