I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
