Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
