Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
