We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
