I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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