Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
worst night to have a conscience
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
