I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
