id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
