you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize