I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
