Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
