We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
