I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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