Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
