College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
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