Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You ruined the universe
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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