help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
