if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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