Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
