I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
